New ways of old things

LA has a gigantic homeless population, I've read it's somewhere around 50,000 people in the entire city. Granted, the city is large, but that is still a ton of people. Now, call me crazy, but in many ways, being homeless is like a business, you've got to separate yourself from the pack, offer something your neighbor doesn't. Like this woman. The average person would go for the regular cup in the hand. This woman went to extra mile for originality and not only had a cup, but also a stick a string which allowed for a heavy amount of swingage. You may think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm dead serious. Cheers to you woman with a cup on a string, I salute you resourcefulness.

Sophia!

Remember the man who called the tree Sophia. Well, I regularly see him and it's such a joy. As it turns out, one of the girls I work with has been followed home by him before, I think it's because he devoted. Anyways, last tuesday I saw him laying down outside of a resturant on my way home from work. He was kind of doing this sit-up kind of thing, but only from the neck up. You've got to keep the trapezius strong man, keep it strong.
But the most intense confrontation happened today. He was yelling on the street, I'm not sure at what, and then he came up to me and looked me dead in the eye. He said, "Do you know the names of 3 Female Restaurant Owners in Oakland, East Oakland." As soon as he was done asking me the question, he took off down the sidewalk and I couldn't tell him that I didn't. Perhaps that's where Sophia works.

The man was a hurdle to my life pursuits

People In LA don't just keep it to the streets either, they bring it into the workplace. Take this picture for example. One day in January, I was walking to my work, early in the morning, for a shoot and I got to my door to see a homeless man sleeping under the card swipe. This picture was taken form the inside, and if you see that box above the homeless man, that where I swiped the card while he was sleeping. Thank goodness he didn't wake up, I believe h would have wanted to come to work with me.
Another interesting thing I noticed a few weeks ago was a sign that's hanging just outside the parking garage that's attached to our building. "WARNING: This Area contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, or to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm." Am I the only one who is wondering what the chemical is??? Plumbium? Zoron maybe?

You can never be too tall

I never cease to be amazed by what people choose to wear. Today didn't break the rule. I was sitting on the bus when we stopped to pick up 2 people along side the road. the one woman got on and then I noticed the very tall man getting on after her. the thing was, the man wasn't that tall. The thing was he was wearing 18 inch platform shoe! They were honestly the biggest, tallest shoes I have ever seen on a person, and I have no idea how he could walk in them. It took him so long to put his money in the machine because he was so high up, and when he finally sat down, his feet were so high, they could have just as easily been on the seat if he hadn't been wearing those gigantic shoe. I think the only reason he could keep from falling was that he carried this staff that was completely black and had a black skull on the top of it. Why? Why man in platform shoes? Why must you make walking around Hollywood so much more difficult for yourself? Why must yo staff have a skull on it? How do yo take yourself seriously with 18 inch platform shoes? Why!?!?!? Anyways, he entertained me and astonished me, and for that I thank him.

Music for a drunker life

Just a little weird thing I saw a few days ago. I was on the bus approaching Hollywood and Argyle when I heard this terrible noise. I looked out the window to see a homeless man sitting up against a building playing a trumpet. There was no rhyme or reason to what he played, just random, loud, screeching notes. The guy was probably completely drunk, but hey, any creative way to pay for your next can of Coors is fine by me. BTW, that's the trumpet dude, in the middle, in case you couldn't already tell.

Hold the bus for the angry transexual and clear out the tatoo parlor

This story happened during one of my first few weeks working in Hollywood. I was was standing at the bus station on the phone with my mom when a bus stopped. It wasn't my bus, so I just stood there waiting. As I was on the phone I looked to the left to see a gigantic mannish looking woman in an ugly purple dress lumbering down the sidewalk. Now, being preoccupied on the phone, I didn't put it together that she was trying to make the bus, and the bus left, leaving her in the dust. Her run slowed to a walk and she kept coming towards me and said in a terribly low voice, "Thanks for holding the bus you fucking asshole." I was astonished. Since when was it my responsibility to hold the bus for people that I'm not even sure are riding the bus? Anyway,s this woman kept giving me the evil eye and even got on my bus when it came. Fortunately she got off soon after, and I was able to return to my apartment, unattacked by a huge scary woman.

Another encounter with a separate crazy woman happened 2 weeks ago when my roommate and I were walking across Hollywood to meet some people for dinner. We were walking toward Hollywood and Cahuenga when we hear this woman sitting on a bus bench shrieking. She said something to the effect of: "Don't act like you can't hear me over there. You're a pretentious fucking asshole you know that. You just pretend like I don't exist. I know that you're a self righteous ass, so come over here and let me show you who's boss" and so forth. My roommate and I walk by her and look across the street to see who she's yelling at, and the only person over there is some guy standing in the doorway of a tattoo parlor talking on his cell phone. I looked to my roommate as we reached the corner and said to him, "I can't believe that woman was that crazy". At that moment I hear the same woman's voice in my right ear and what do you know, she standing right next to me. she started to babble about that guy and how he was such an asshole, but I pretended like I was trying to have a conversation with my roommate. Never before have I had so much trouble trying to talk as this scary woman was blabbering in my ear. When the walk sign came up we took off across the street and made it to the restaurant.

Don't walk on Santa Monica Blvd.

Yesterday, after work, I walked down to Santa Monica Blvd. and then over to La Brea which is about an 8 block walk. When I made it to Santa Monica, it turned into an industrialized wasteland, and in all honesty, I expected to be mugged and killed. However, I did come across a very interesting person. As I'm walking down the sidewalk, I see this homeless looking man approaching, and what do you know, he's wearing one of those rainbow clown wigs. It was weird but nothing too out of the ordinary. Then I see the person following him. It was some woman wearing a huge poofy coat dancing down the sidewalk. Her arms were flailing and her feet were moving side to side on the sidewalk. This combo of people really had me scared. As the woman got closer , her act cooled down. Never before have I seen such choreography in West Hollywood.

Will you be my Big Mac?

On Tuesday I was extremely hungry for a chicken sandwich, and when you live in Los Angeles, there are 2 places to go for a delicious cheap chicken sandwiches: McDonald's for the McChicken Sandwich and Carl's Jr. for the Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Now, I wasn't in the mood for something too spicy so I decided to go with the McChicken Sandwich. I entered the restaurant and got in line and soon enough there was only one person in front of me until I would have a chance to order. Now, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but listen to the conversation between the girl in front of me and the cashier taking her order. I hear him ask her name, and soon after where she was from and how long she had been in Los Angeles. Moments later he asked if she had been to any movies since being here and when she said no, he replied that he would take her to one. Next thing I knew, she was writing her phone number on the back on a McDonald's receipt and making eyes at this guy who had just served her America's Finest cuisine. "Wait, that actually works?" I thought to myself completely baffled at what had just happened directly in front of me? If only I knew that it was cool to ask that question of people I was serving burgers to, where would I be now.
But the story's not over! When I got my chance to order, went up and told the cashier exactly what I wanted and he fumbled over my order and kept looking up. After repeating myself a few times, he finally got the order right and told me what my total was and I handed him the money I owed. It was at that point that the girl that he had asked out came up to the counter and said "Could I get a cup of water". The cashier literally dropped my money on the that tray that was sitting on the counter and ran over and got the water as quickly as he could. Meanwhile, another cashier began to put food on that tray. He almost handed the tray away before the other cashier realized that money was about to be delivered with someones food. Fortunately, the money was saved and I got my food, but I still remain baffled at the event that happened a the Hollywood Blvd. McDonald's.

LA is a Black Hole

After living here for almost 3 Months now, it's become painfully apparent that LA is where all of the crazies come. The center point of all of the insanity is a certain intersection in the West Hollywood area of Los Angeles. The intersection goes my the name of Hollywood and Highland. If you been to LA, the intersection will ring a bell but if not, I will briefly explain. Hollywood and Highland is what you think of when you thing of Hollywood. It's where Graumans Chinese theatre, The Kodak Theatre and The Hollywood Walk of Fame are all located. For some reason, the gravitational pull of all of these thing cause the craziest people and things to all come the this location in the world. I've seen drug deals, angry transsexuals, strange dating propositions, the good people of Tony Alamo Ministries, and the self proclaimed Assistant to the President of The Bank of America. Welcome to the Black Hole of the World